More Self Absorbed Middle Aged Transitioners

I hope my title isn't too provocative. But seriously, where do these people come from, and why do they think the world revolves around them?

Dr. Phil "Daddy Drama Yes, Daddy Drama.

From Macho Cop to Glamorous Guard

Michael was a police officer, soldier and loving dad who lived as a male for 40 years. Two years ago, he began transitioning to female, and he now wants his daughters to call him Mikayla, Kayla or Mom, because he says Dad is gone.

Some more choice excerpts:

The last time Christina saw her father was two years ago when he showed up at her work in lace and blue jeans to break the news that he's transgendered.

That's a sensitive way to go about coming out to your daughter!

Carlie's mother, Jennifer, says Kayla used to pay child support, but that now she's lucky to get any money from her.

Now, I don't want to rag on somebody whose going through difficult financial times, and also having a difficult coming out process with family. What boggles my mind is why she would go on National TV with this issue? It's clear that sensationalist TV show producers are trolling the internet among other places looking for people who are gullible enough to put themselves and their problems on TV.

I feel like this is another small step backward for Trans rights. Putting your unfortunate and sad story on Dr. Phil, when you are not paying a fair load of support for your children, and you are coming out to them in inappropriate ways is not helpful to anybody.

Why does this make me uncomfortable? Is it that seeing a semi-trainwreck trans narrative makes me defensive about my own life, and my own story? Am I so insecure that I feel others are "ruining it" for me? Or, am I reacting legitimately to someone who is playing into the hands of the "all-trannies-are-sensationalist-caricatures-of-women" media crowd.

I know I hate it when other trans folks decry the people who put themselves on Jerry Springer when they're doing sex work. It's curious why I feel differently about this.

I have the privilege of passing - does this make me less sensitive to folks whose lives are harder in that sense?

Still, this person is making a spectacle of themselves (see the Brunners below for another example) and I can't help but call out some egotistical behavior.

Why does the world need to know your story, I guess is an underlying concern. I can't help but see the specter of a person privileged with a lifetime of stereotypical masculine presentation. But maybe I'm just being insensitive?

Forbidden Keyword: Lesbian!

So I'm staying at a Residence Inn hotel for work. I should also mention I'm in the South, but in a specific town that is relatively Liberal. They have a community computer that you can print from, where I was at this afternoon for a while printing some mammoth report.

Anyways, I was blog trolling - I've just discovered blogs and I'm massively entertained - and got blocked from one site for it being trans, then another site for having Lesbian as a tag.

The way it came up was especially infuriating : FORBIDDEN KEYWORD: LESBIAN! like this was violating some ancient religious rite of web crawling. So yeh, even though I'm straight now, I'm still not so much a fan of hetero-sexism.

Another Lame Trans Article

So the New York times Regional department has published a story on two heretofore straight couples who are now lesbian couples, and how that impacts their legal marriage. Through Sickness, Health , and Sexchange .

I find it to be a pretty standard tawdry affair - standard "Before" and "After" photos (what does this have to do with a legal piece?) as well as vivid descriptions of one of the transwomen's cross-dressing days.

Fran said she thought marriage would stop the cross-dressing, but she kept discovering caches of women’s clothes, which led to fights.

“She was always resentful, because the money I would spend on my second wardrobe would be better spent on diapers, household expenses,” Denise said.

“And vacations,” chimed in Fran, a woman of fewer words.

Yay self absorbed husbands with gender issues! The tone of this article is clear - Fran is a put-upon woman, with an eccentric husband. The picture they chose is also curious as it has the trans woman in the relationship holding back her wife. I may be looking too deep into that, but this is just a blog post.

I find myself curious about what the deal is here. I hesitate to criticize people for stepping up to unjust conditions, but in the case of a woman who pre-transition entered into a legal marriage with a cis-gendered woman, they basically have it made. They have all the benefits of legal marriage, while being in a gay relationship. It's not perfect - but the storm they're attempting to create over this has much more potential to negatively impact me, and others like me- someone who lives as a woman, with a male birth certificate, who is straight.

The Times' reporter went to the IRS and Social Security office for clarification on these matters - the last thing we want to be doing is haphazardly looking to these agencies to set precedents - all because an already legally married couple wants a little more piece of mind. The response from Social Security was kind of awesome

A spokeswoman for the Social Security Administration said in an e-mail message that the agency “will review each case on an individual basis to determine what effect gender change has on marital status, since each state has different laws on gender change and its effect on marital status.”

The IRS refused to comment. Most likely because they were busy brainstorming new ways of fucking over trans people. Like deciding to no longer allow SRS to be tax-deductible. So, poking them with a stick about trans policies at this point in time is not the most strategic thing in th world.

Caught Between "I like Dresses!" and Sexism

I was so excited to see a fun article in the NY Times yesterday discussing how fabulous dresses are, and how un-fabulous self-professed fashion pundits are for saying dresses are going to be a no-go in a few months. I mean - fun clothing + a swipe at elitists should normally make for a good read. Unfortunately, the article was written by a man. "How Strange!", you may be saying. "Why would a man, who most likely, is not a regular dress wearer, be talking up the pleasure of it?" Those are very good questions.

It looks like the answer is that said author enjoys staring at women like we are little dolls roaming the earth for his amusement with our fascinating little outfits.

*Shakes Head*